When I was a little girl I knew very clearly what I want and what is important. I was a very shy kid. Never saying much and not asking for anything. Ami til this day says that I was the sweetest little kid but I knew what I wanted and my thoughts were pretty clear on that.
For example when I saw an aunty or an uncle with a kid on her or his lap, whether their own or someone else's, I would very confidently go over, push the child aside and put my seat on the very lap. I don't remember doing this but everyone older than me remembers it.
If anyone asked me if I like my mom better or dad (a very common questions among people in my country, I have no idea if they ask the same question anywhere else, but in Pakistan they always do, yes even now!!). Unlike other children I blatantly would answer, "Papa". Yes my mother was amused the first few times, the next 30 yrs not so much :)
Every time anyone asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up, I almost always replied, "Dulhan" - translation=Bride. Yes, I know. My childhood dream is still a dream lol.
As a child, your instincts are sharp enough to make you like or dislike someone. And the only reason I behaved or went to some of the people's houses was because my mom had long ago mastered the "if looks could kill, you wud be dead" look. Otherwise I had already made up my mind about which of my aunts were good and which ones bad. Time showed that my judgement was pretty good. Aapi knows what I am talking about.
Growing up means accepting the grays in life, the unknowns, the what nexts. Our experiences cloud our judgements, realism mars our dreams. We tend to rely more on what we see rather than what our instincts tell us. We are so consumed by being liked and accepted that we forget who we really are. We compromise, we conform, we sacrifice, we break apart and then we are just fixer uppers. To each its own. We loose our faith in some things, while our confidence wavers so many times.
Sometimes I miss being that little girl. So quiet and mysterious yet whenever she opened her mouth, it was with so much faith and confidence.
I lost her along the way, somewhere, a while back. But , I often think about that girl. She makes me trust my instincts again. She makes me believe in my dreams. She makes me believe in my my love and who I love. She makes me believe in goodness and compassion and reminds me what it was like to have faith in all that is good and pure.
Our roots, our true form, our true essence is the person who we were before the world took us over. We have to connect with that person to remind ourselves who we really are and not who we want to be and who we should be. After all we cant truly be happy unless we know our very own self.
For example when I saw an aunty or an uncle with a kid on her or his lap, whether their own or someone else's, I would very confidently go over, push the child aside and put my seat on the very lap. I don't remember doing this but everyone older than me remembers it.
If anyone asked me if I like my mom better or dad (a very common questions among people in my country, I have no idea if they ask the same question anywhere else, but in Pakistan they always do, yes even now!!). Unlike other children I blatantly would answer, "Papa". Yes my mother was amused the first few times, the next 30 yrs not so much :)
Every time anyone asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up, I almost always replied, "Dulhan" - translation=Bride. Yes, I know. My childhood dream is still a dream lol.
As a child, your instincts are sharp enough to make you like or dislike someone. And the only reason I behaved or went to some of the people's houses was because my mom had long ago mastered the "if looks could kill, you wud be dead" look. Otherwise I had already made up my mind about which of my aunts were good and which ones bad. Time showed that my judgement was pretty good. Aapi knows what I am talking about.
Growing up means accepting the grays in life, the unknowns, the what nexts. Our experiences cloud our judgements, realism mars our dreams. We tend to rely more on what we see rather than what our instincts tell us. We are so consumed by being liked and accepted that we forget who we really are. We compromise, we conform, we sacrifice, we break apart and then we are just fixer uppers. To each its own. We loose our faith in some things, while our confidence wavers so many times.
Sometimes I miss being that little girl. So quiet and mysterious yet whenever she opened her mouth, it was with so much faith and confidence.
I lost her along the way, somewhere, a while back. But , I often think about that girl. She makes me trust my instincts again. She makes me believe in my dreams. She makes me believe in my my love and who I love. She makes me believe in goodness and compassion and reminds me what it was like to have faith in all that is good and pure.
Our roots, our true form, our true essence is the person who we were before the world took us over. We have to connect with that person to remind ourselves who we really are and not who we want to be and who we should be. After all we cant truly be happy unless we know our very own self.
2 comments:
I am disappointed you lost the "Pushing people off and placing yourself on the lap" habit.
You doing it now would be a treat to watch! :P
lol!!!
very funny :P
hehehhe it is funny as I picture it
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