There is no place like home...now wait a minute..

I don't know how and I don't know when, but I have just suddenly realised. Seattle has made its way into my heart and has officially become my home. It has given me the right energy to be happy and content, to learn to take care of myself, to make new friends, to bring Nick (my wonderful trainer) in my life and to hike half way up the Glorious Mt. Rainier. From the moment I landed here, I have loved its snow capped mountains, its beautiful lakes, its wonderfully green landscapes and its perfect Summer days. I have enjoyed the snow, I have enjoyed my Sunday strolls in the Pike Place Market, I have even enjoyed the rain and most of all I have enjoyed making new friends. Here, I have restarted playing tennis and met my one true love, my dear car, which proudly displays a Washington license plate. And lately when I fly back from my weekend trips to Cali, I am not sad anymore. I guess I know that I am coming home.

Well...I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER!!. When in the past 33 years of my life I have ever found a place that would become my HOME? How could I, an Army brat by birth and an expatriate and an IT consultant by choice, yet again make the mistake of thinking some place is my home? Silly, Silly, Free Spirited DJS.

Friday, as I was about to walk out of work, my manager called me for an impromptu meeting. Anyone who has ever worked as a contractor would know that that is never a good thing. Uh-oh!! My manager, very likable person gave a speech about how amazing its been to work with me and what a great job i have done in the past year and a half, and how they regret having to let me go. He wished there was some way he could keep me at the company, but since they have an employee available to take over my tasks, they are forced to throw me out in perhaps the worst job market since the late President Roosevelt was in the oval office. Gee Thanks!!

So what if this was not a total surprise given that my own project had already come to a successful end and so what if my manager felt horrible and told me I still had 2 months at my current position and so what if I was originally hired for just 12 weeks. The bottom line remains the same. In two months I have to leave my home, again!! Sighhhhhhhhhhhh.

Since I am still here two more months, this will not be my Bon Voyage or Adieu Seattle post. However, this post will be used to vent and to reiterate what I wrote in a previous post and to remind myself why I have given me the name of the free spirit and why I have made my home in a 5x10 Public Storage unit.

The funny thing is that the announcement of my impending unemployment and removal from Seattle was met with my people finalizing plans to visit the emerald city in the month of August. The very same people I have been asking to come for a visit my entire 14 months stay. Talk about a reality check. Nonetheless, I am happy that the visits will make my time remaining in Seattle a fun-filled and eventful one. I intend to make full use of being employed, being with friends and family, training with Nick Jr. and using the good energy Seattle has given me to find work in my beloved California. I guess this is how it feels to be told you have only 2 months to live ;-) Ahhh not exactly, but it does make my evil side happy to know that I will be enjoying the remaining sunshiny days of Summer here, before leaving the poor Seattlites to fend against another loooong, snow-filled, gloomy winter. Huhuhuhahahhaa!!

I guess Life has brought no real surprises here and has acted just as I have always seen it act. So I will try to get ready to leave my new home and face another adventure in another part of the world. In the meantime I will enjoy being with my people while willing the job-market to pick up....

Home is where the heart is

The homesickness and Nostalgia that I have been feeling off late has not lost its original intensity. If anything it has been consistently on rise. Nostalgia is but natural for a person with my level of solitude. Also I have 2 and a half decade worth of memories. I have a memory of an elephant ( I have always resented this analogy). I have had an interesting life and I have had some really sweet people come into my life at various junctures. So all in all Nostalgia is justified.


Now some people may ask what is it that I miss about home, especially under the current circumstances where it may not be the most desirable place for a vast majority of people - Pakistani or otherwise. Also, by the grace of God my parents visit us often enough and my sweet aapi and her adorable 3 kiddies live but a two hour flight away. So Why do I miss home? The traffic is better here, there are no electricity outages, no one comes and feels (or pinches) my gluteus maximusarea (more frankly called - the ass) in a crowded mall, there is definitely much less pollution. No one wonders about my doomed unmarried existence and sighs wistfully. People are more courteous and less ill-tempered, and no one stops me at the traffic light on gunpoint and snatches my cellphone and gold bangles (never happened to me in or out of Karachi).

But there is so much more to my country and to my city than can ever be shown in CNN special report or described in a NY Times article. That never reaches the media does it?

Well that is what I miss about home, what not many people know, hear, see or feel. I am happy to be in the US since I have found a lot of things here that I never had before or I had somehow lost. But home is where the heart is and part of my heart will always be in Pakistan.

This post is not a patriotic attempt to raise the image of a country so plagued with trouble and terror. I am just a homeless soul living in a five-star hotel, trying to remember what gave me immense pleasure in my run down, modest abode, which cant quite compare with the happiness that I feel here. Despite the noise and disorderliness. Whats missing?

The unceasing moist sea breeze. People that share your worries, grief and happiness (whether you want it or not, such is there sincerity). Rickshaws. Eid/Ramadan get-togethers. Family picnics on the beach. Family picnics on Hub farm. Family picnics on Bibi's farm (any farm for that matter). PIDC paan. Chand Raat. Bargaining with Pathans. Beating up Pathans. Getting pinched by Pathans (scratch that one). The prayers and good wishes of elders. Love and attention of people. The sky at night in Karachi. Nani Maa's roof top. Raza and his nonsensical talks. Saira and our rendezvous. Tennis with ex-best friend. Monsoon. Mangoes. Electricity Outages. Secret Phone calls. Kabab Rolls. Bhaiya. Sunday Bazar. Cricket matches at national stadium. Junoon concerts. Driving in Karachi. S phupoo. Ex best friend's mom. Lil one who left me in Cali. Bohri Bazar. Bohri Bazar Chat. Family outings at BBQ Tonight. Five of us together. Traffic sergeants. My little hawker friends who sold flowers on traffic lights. The undying spirit of Karachihites. My Tailor. Zamzama. KU and KU friends. KG Library. Sea view. Breakfast at Boat Basin. Driving on Sharae-faisal 2:00 am in the morning. Gajak. MY sister when she was single. My sister's best friend when she was single. Zainab Market (I know its not the same anymore but what is?) Guavas. Sabri nehari. The ability to go out and eat anything at any hour of the day. Quetta. Bus trip to Quetta. Weddings (yes I miss them. The bride, the food, the reason to deck up and check out good looking guys...they hardly exist in Karachi but that never stopped us). All the family ladies when they were not aunties lol. And, and , and....

The list will go on. Its never ending. I am homesick for the home that is so influenced by my nostalgic tendencies. Some of the things on my list wont be there when I go back home, but they are part of what is missing. I am aware of it.

Things you leave behind, things that are kept away from your reach, things that make up your person, your mind, your past and present. Things that forever remain important no matter how far away they maybe. Things if harmed or damaged, hurt you in ways you never deem possible. Things that will remain your identity. My home, for me, is all such things and more.

Allah tumhari hifaazat karay. May God bless our Home.