There is no place like home...now wait a minute..

I don't know how and I don't know when, but I have just suddenly realised. Seattle has made its way into my heart and has officially become my home. It has given me the right energy to be happy and content, to learn to take care of myself, to make new friends, to bring Nick (my wonderful trainer) in my life and to hike half way up the Glorious Mt. Rainier. From the moment I landed here, I have loved its snow capped mountains, its beautiful lakes, its wonderfully green landscapes and its perfect Summer days. I have enjoyed the snow, I have enjoyed my Sunday strolls in the Pike Place Market, I have even enjoyed the rain and most of all I have enjoyed making new friends. Here, I have restarted playing tennis and met my one true love, my dear car, which proudly displays a Washington license plate. And lately when I fly back from my weekend trips to Cali, I am not sad anymore. I guess I know that I am coming home.

Well...I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER!!. When in the past 33 years of my life I have ever found a place that would become my HOME? How could I, an Army brat by birth and an expatriate and an IT consultant by choice, yet again make the mistake of thinking some place is my home? Silly, Silly, Free Spirited DJS.

Friday, as I was about to walk out of work, my manager called me for an impromptu meeting. Anyone who has ever worked as a contractor would know that that is never a good thing. Uh-oh!! My manager, very likable person gave a speech about how amazing its been to work with me and what a great job i have done in the past year and a half, and how they regret having to let me go. He wished there was some way he could keep me at the company, but since they have an employee available to take over my tasks, they are forced to throw me out in perhaps the worst job market since the late President Roosevelt was in the oval office. Gee Thanks!!

So what if this was not a total surprise given that my own project had already come to a successful end and so what if my manager felt horrible and told me I still had 2 months at my current position and so what if I was originally hired for just 12 weeks. The bottom line remains the same. In two months I have to leave my home, again!! Sighhhhhhhhhhhh.

Since I am still here two more months, this will not be my Bon Voyage or Adieu Seattle post. However, this post will be used to vent and to reiterate what I wrote in a previous post and to remind myself why I have given me the name of the free spirit and why I have made my home in a 5x10 Public Storage unit.

The funny thing is that the announcement of my impending unemployment and removal from Seattle was met with my people finalizing plans to visit the emerald city in the month of August. The very same people I have been asking to come for a visit my entire 14 months stay. Talk about a reality check. Nonetheless, I am happy that the visits will make my time remaining in Seattle a fun-filled and eventful one. I intend to make full use of being employed, being with friends and family, training with Nick Jr. and using the good energy Seattle has given me to find work in my beloved California. I guess this is how it feels to be told you have only 2 months to live ;-) Ahhh not exactly, but it does make my evil side happy to know that I will be enjoying the remaining sunshiny days of Summer here, before leaving the poor Seattlites to fend against another loooong, snow-filled, gloomy winter. Huhuhuhahahhaa!!

I guess Life has brought no real surprises here and has acted just as I have always seen it act. So I will try to get ready to leave my new home and face another adventure in another part of the world. In the meantime I will enjoy being with my people while willing the job-market to pick up....

Warning: I am venting here

"Some resentment did arise at a perseverance so selfish and ungenerous" - Jane Austen from "Mansfield Park"

I told my roommate about my plans of moving out. We have lived together not more than 3 months and we get along just fine, no arguments or misunderstanding. She is an awesome lady and I love her cat and I am quite comfortable with the living condition. So why am I moving? Well lets just say after several bad experiences in my life I have decided to always listen to my instincts and my instincts tell me to leave.

The reasons are there and they are not all perfect and strong. Firstly, we had a certain agreement at the time I moved in and she turned back on her word and kind of created a bad taste in my mouth. Secondly, my commute has increased to 30 miles a day, a situation not at all agreeable to me. Lastly, I don't want to live in a place where I may feel I need to justify my actions or words to a person not at all rightful of these justifications. She had made it very clear that she is looking out for herself and so I decided to do the same. and told her that I'm moving.

Since that day she has made it her duty to argue against all my reasons for moving out. I tell her each time my mind has not changed and each time she argues against it and tells me to re-think my decision. All her arguments are valid. All her arguments are directed to make me feel guilty enough to change my mind. All her arguments look out for her well-being and not my comfort. She is looking out for herself and making me feel bad for doing the same. She is not doing it consciously perhaps. But it is serving the purpose, I feel guilty as hell!!

And I would have believed that she is forcing me to reconsider by mere kindness of heart or loving feelings that she may have towards me, if she wouldn't keep mentioning that it is such a financial burden and inconvenience to find a replacement and that she might have to rent out her condo and that she will have to move in with her parents. She is picky about who she lets in the house. The conversation is never ending.

Last night she followed me to the bathroom door and had this conversation for the fourth time while I was holding more than just my patience. I equal this to torture.

I admire her perseverance, but her tactics are all so unfair. I feel so responsible for her potential homelessness that I am almost ready to disregard my instincts. But I must not.

Please Miss SN, my dear land lady. Back off!!! You should never have asked me to move in under false pretences. Next time be honest and upfront. And now stop asking me to reconsider and let me move out in peace. Stop giving me guilt trips that would put my mother's innocent attempts at forcing guilt induced matrimony on me, to shame.