Getting Over.....where????

Life is all about getting over things. Get over adversity, get over sickness, get over challenges and obstacle to reach a certain goal, get over depression, sad times, heartaches, get over financial hardships, get over being mistreated, get over disappointments and of course related to all this get over people.
You meet so many people during the course of your life that it is actually impossible to keep connected with all of them. It is also quite impossible that you would want all of them to be a part of your life, since you may not like most of them or most of them may not like you. Regardless, people come and people go without you having the need to actually get over them.
But then there are those people who enter your world to touch it in the most special way, they impact you, your life, the way you see the world, in the most significant manner. It is special, the time you spend together, even if at the time it may seem quite ordinary, but it just might be influencing who you will become for the rest of your life. They are parents, siblings, friends, relatives, teachers, lovers, or sometimes they are all of them. You share a bond with these people, a special connection that can get you through hard times, times of self-doubt and struggle, times of loneliness and frustration, times of disillusionment and disappointment. They make you want to believe and live and love, they make you feel that you can do anything in the world as long as they are there standing by your side, rooting you on. They love you for who you are, and accept you as you are. You trust them, you rely on them, you grow in their company, no matter what your age, you are happy when they are with you, no matter how hard the times. They become your guardian angels.
But then there are those, who do nothing for you, yet they hold this same degree of importance in your life. They are just bright and happy people who may not even be aware of how much they mean to you, but you cherish them, because you love who they are.
And then there are those few whose lives we have touched, we have given them knowingly or unknowingly and have never felt its impact deep enough or long enough to realise that we have become something special to them. You may or may not realise your importance in their lives but you will always find them, in your corner, quietly admiring you and making you feel special.
No matter how these people come to matter in your life, whether through mutual admiration or via one-sided, loosing them is the hardest thing of all to recover from. It doesn't mater how you loose them, what is worth noting is that when they leave, you feel a part of you has left with them and no matter how many people you may have in your life and how much love you receive, you never feel whole again. A part of you is lost forever. You are not the same again.
People die, they move on, you move on, everyone has their reasons, who cares. The bottom line is, you have lost the connection, that support, the understanding, the love, the friendship, the comfort, its gone.
You loose money, you work two jobs get it back. You loose a house, heck it was never really yours. You have obstacle and hardships, time heals all, it changes, you get on with your life. But what if you loose a parent? a loving sibling? a wonderful friend? a passionate lover? What if they abandon you? What if they change? What if they betray you, hurt you so badly that you may not be able to trust again? What then?
I have always had these questions, and even though I have lost a few loved ones along the way, I still cant seem to find the answers. I used to think perhaps time is a great healer and eventually you get over everything, but now I am not so sure.
Of course, we move on, we laugh again and meet new people and get successful and we may even forget remembering these lost few, but do we really get over them? Maybe the pain disappears, but do the scars ever go away? We live our lives weighed down by the baggage of these losses, their shadows casting soft darkness over our behaviors, our habits, the way we deal with other people, the decisions we make, the manner in which we form new relationships. Our expectations are forever adjusted and we are forever fearful, of repeating a mistake, of loosing another friend, of bearing pain again, of feeling alone again, of falling down and never being able to walk again. Yes, we live in shadows. Some people may be ghastly aware of this, while some block it all out to live their lives in a peaceful delusional state, but we all have our shadows.
All this pondering makes me believe that perhaps we are not supposed to get over these people. These people hold the most significant of our memories, the most profound of our influences, the most remarkable of our experiences and the most wonderful of our associations. When they left they also taught us the harsh realities of this life, the bitter and ugly truths, which helps us become stronger and somehow wiser (of course this is not true in a lot of cases) and grown-up. Maybe cynical and bitter as well, but that is a choice.
Regardless of whether we like it or not, they remain a part of our lives one way or the other and forever influence the deepest working of our sub-conscious minds, while posing great challenges to the loved ones still dealing or putting up with us.
I guess we are better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all.