I am drained. After a full week of dealing with and listening to marital dramas and traumas, I am just about ready to become a nun. Seriously! I am so glad about being single. So glad. If anyone so much as mention marriage to me I will have to use my newly toned muscles.
Seriously, I have so much to do before the end of this month. Update my resume, look for job opportunities, pack and sort my stuff, reach out to contacts for job opportunities and most of all move out by the end of August. I have M and my parents and potentially Aapi and her family coming for a visit this month. That just leaves me two weeks to get most of my chores done. So, the potential domestic dismemberment of near and dear ones is just making the stress levels worse.
To top it all, my brain faced with a bit uncertain and potentially stressful times is as always going in its sleep mode. When I say sleep mode I mean I can literally go to sleep at the drop of the hat. It has always been the case and is one of the things I blame Ami for. The moment life gets stressful, my system becomes overly sleep and hunger efficient. I am so sleepy and tired all the time. And when I manage to be awake I am super ravenous. I remember when my father had that horrible by-pass surgery and throughhout the episode where the doctors who botched up his graft had no way of knowing which way he will swing, my mom and I used to be peacefully asleep on the two couches outside the Intensive Care Unit. We would get up, eat and go back to sleep. Talk about escaping. It was so embarrassing and I am sure that our friends, family and hospital staff thought we just didn't care. Well maybe we are just such spiritual souls who knew it will all be alright. Rite!!!
It is just something we cannot help. Papa always says when people are stressed out they loose their sleep and appetite, but in my and Ami's case it just gets bigger and better. He thinks we are lucky but, I beg to differ. My last stressful time gave me something I am still trying to get rid of...the extra 200,000 pounds (yes, yes, i exaggerate ;-)). So no I am not happy that I don't loose my sleep or appetite at the first sign of trouble.
And not to complain but whats up with having to continue working at a company that you know doesn't really want you there anymore. It is just such a downer. I guess the best thing about being an employee as opposed to a contractor is that, when employees are told bah-bye, they can take their severance package and be on their way out. A contractor on the other hand has to slog along until the expiration of the SOW so that he can get whatever extra pay. Like I said, it is not complaint; it is just a motivational problem. I still have to work, but my heart is not in it. But what to do. Being the professional I am (ahem, ahem) I am doing the best I can with as much enthusiasm as I can muster.
Coming back to the original rant about marital delights, I am so over this idea of something is better than nothing in the context of marriage. You have got to be kidding me. Just because you cannot face the dark, ugly and scary side (life as a single/divorced woman...heaven forbid lol), you are willing to put up with crap that belongs in the 18th century. I know the unknown is overwhelmingly freaky, but trust me living your life with dignity and self-respect makes up for everything else. A person who makes you feel like a nobody, does not care for you. Marriage, friendship, business partnership or professional relationships, whatever might be the reason for two individuals to come together, it should be to bring value to one another and help each other grow and eventually progress together. The manipulation, the games, the power plays, the abuse, the cheating, the torture, the running down of one another. Haven't we had enough? Are we not tired already? It breaks my heart to see good people suffer for being good, for being weak and innocent, for having a heart and for loving. Sad !!
My idealistic, but heartfelt prayer and message is that whoever we are with, a friend, a parent, a lover, a spouse, a co-worker, even a servant, may we treat them with the love and respect they deserve. May we appreciate all that they bring to us and all that they do for us. May we accept them for who they are and care for what they need. May we rule their hearts and minds with love, care and understanding. May we never utter the words that hurt them and never act the deeds that shatter their selves. May Allah broaden our hearts and minds. Amen!!!
Seriously, I have so much to do before the end of this month. Update my resume, look for job opportunities, pack and sort my stuff, reach out to contacts for job opportunities and most of all move out by the end of August. I have M and my parents and potentially Aapi and her family coming for a visit this month. That just leaves me two weeks to get most of my chores done. So, the potential domestic dismemberment of near and dear ones is just making the stress levels worse.
To top it all, my brain faced with a bit uncertain and potentially stressful times is as always going in its sleep mode. When I say sleep mode I mean I can literally go to sleep at the drop of the hat. It has always been the case and is one of the things I blame Ami for. The moment life gets stressful, my system becomes overly sleep and hunger efficient. I am so sleepy and tired all the time. And when I manage to be awake I am super ravenous. I remember when my father had that horrible by-pass surgery and throughhout the episode where the doctors who botched up his graft had no way of knowing which way he will swing, my mom and I used to be peacefully asleep on the two couches outside the Intensive Care Unit. We would get up, eat and go back to sleep. Talk about escaping. It was so embarrassing and I am sure that our friends, family and hospital staff thought we just didn't care. Well maybe we are just such spiritual souls who knew it will all be alright. Rite!!!
It is just something we cannot help. Papa always says when people are stressed out they loose their sleep and appetite, but in my and Ami's case it just gets bigger and better. He thinks we are lucky but, I beg to differ. My last stressful time gave me something I am still trying to get rid of...the extra 200,000 pounds (yes, yes, i exaggerate ;-)). So no I am not happy that I don't loose my sleep or appetite at the first sign of trouble.
And not to complain but whats up with having to continue working at a company that you know doesn't really want you there anymore. It is just such a downer. I guess the best thing about being an employee as opposed to a contractor is that, when employees are told bah-bye, they can take their severance package and be on their way out. A contractor on the other hand has to slog along until the expiration of the SOW so that he can get whatever extra pay. Like I said, it is not complaint; it is just a motivational problem. I still have to work, but my heart is not in it. But what to do. Being the professional I am (ahem, ahem) I am doing the best I can with as much enthusiasm as I can muster.
Coming back to the original rant about marital delights, I am so over this idea of something is better than nothing in the context of marriage. You have got to be kidding me. Just because you cannot face the dark, ugly and scary side (life as a single/divorced woman...heaven forbid lol), you are willing to put up with crap that belongs in the 18th century. I know the unknown is overwhelmingly freaky, but trust me living your life with dignity and self-respect makes up for everything else. A person who makes you feel like a nobody, does not care for you. Marriage, friendship, business partnership or professional relationships, whatever might be the reason for two individuals to come together, it should be to bring value to one another and help each other grow and eventually progress together. The manipulation, the games, the power plays, the abuse, the cheating, the torture, the running down of one another. Haven't we had enough? Are we not tired already? It breaks my heart to see good people suffer for being good, for being weak and innocent, for having a heart and for loving. Sad !!
My idealistic, but heartfelt prayer and message is that whoever we are with, a friend, a parent, a lover, a spouse, a co-worker, even a servant, may we treat them with the love and respect they deserve. May we appreciate all that they bring to us and all that they do for us. May we accept them for who they are and care for what they need. May we rule their hearts and minds with love, care and understanding. May we never utter the words that hurt them and never act the deeds that shatter their selves. May Allah broaden our hearts and minds. Amen!!!
7 comments:
Aww...such a cute post. Amen to your amen and cheers for our single-hood. :D
Amen Sister .... Amen!!!
Abt the marriage part .... well ... i guess its just in the AIR right now .... every TOM DICK n HARRY is getting married ... n im thinking .... wat's the rush for???
n now im sure that we must be related .... if not this life ... than maybe the last one .... i too sleep when in stress (n its the best sleep eva) ... but do loose my appetite ... :DD
Wish i was there to help u pack ... :)
Marry me!
@Apoo...we had a fight last night. Djs said u proposed her, Moi said her and I said me.....
@moi: Yes yes please take your time :) and of course we are realted..you an dme slept the most and joked the most during stressful times...remember the interview lol!!
@apoo: lol!!! I am taking the first flight to michigan...hehehhe
@little mice: no comments
@little mice first comment: thanks sweets and cheers to you too
how can i forget that day?? actually i know of someone who will remember that day for the rest of her life .... :)
We have redefined the very expression of stress .... congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
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