Few of the many incidents...that tell me we need to visit the ENT

M and Guruji are driving back from the airport. M is telling Guru ji about this couple who are on again off again and who are on again. She tells guruji that they are willing to try it and plan to do it 201%.
Guruji: Huh???
M: What?
Guruji: How can they do that?
M: What do you mean?
Guruji: And how will it help them?
M: Huh?
Guruji: Doing it with 201 persons..how will that help their relationship?

M and I are on the phone trying to figure out where we can go for the long weekend.
Me: Well we can always go to Yosemite for a day.
M: Yes yes (Hyper and willing as ever)
Me: But it might be too crowded.
M: Yeah aur journey bhi buhut hai. (its a a long journey)
Me: Hain?? Garmi? It wont be hot...you are weird at 59F you cry its too cold and at 65F you cry its too hot.
M: Grami nahi journey...
Me: jeremy???
M: aaa??
Me: what is that?
M: journey journey (yelling into the phone)
Me: Oh journeyy!!!!

Me sitting in a meeting. The presenter is giving us a presentation about the new tools and processes that will be utilized for the new project. It is 8:00 am and I am hungry and I can hardly pay any attention. Suddenly I hear the presenter talk about the "tormentor"
Presenter: You will find the "tormentor" on the website and it will tell you what to do.
Me thinking: Tormentor?? What the heck is that? And why would they name it Tormentor.
The presenter continues to talk about the "tormentor for 5 minutes and I keep thinking What the heck is that? Finally someone from the audience says "So when we access the "Tool Mentor" will we be able to see...."
Me: Oh TOOL MENTOR not Tormentor!!!!

Plateau

I am working hard. I am eating right. I am training every day. I can now run 20 mins instead of the 1 I could barely run 4 months back. I feel better than I have in a long time. And I absolutely adore my trainer, of course ;) I am happy and excited.


I happily eat and train my way into April and run straight into a wall. No matter how hard I try I keep hitting the wall and I get nowhere. Its frustrating and annoying and worst of all demotivating. The only thing that keeps me from giving up is the money that has gone to my "adorable trainer". I talk about it constantly and my trio of sweet well-wishers can only do so much to keep themselves from choking me. Probably the fact that I have 850 miles between them and myself helps tremendously. But can I do? When you work so hard to achieve a goal, every road block seems like a nuisance or at least a universal conspiracy to keep you from gaining your happiness.
Three weeks of the needle pointing the same number on the weight machine pushes me off my rocker and I glare angrily at Nick as he makes me run at 9 mph for a final 1 min sprint. He smiles and I tell him how much I hate him. He takes it. I feel horrible.
I am in tears as Nick tells me that I have hit my first plateau and there is nothing I can do except keep going. I feel nervous and wonder if I will forever stay at this same weight and never ever get back in shape. Nick reads my mind and says no. Aapi tells me don't give up. Guruji is annoyed but patiently tells me its temporary and M just says "hmmmmmmmmm just keep at it bhaeeee".
And then I realise something. Isn't life just like this? You work so hard and do everything right and expect certain things to happen and some of them do happen, but then you hit a plateau. No matter how hard you try, no matter how much you want things to move forward, it all remains just the same. Nothing works and life becomes stagnant. The needle on the "wait machine" pretty much signals at "the rut" and all you can really do is to "keep at it". You just cant give up. You have to keep doing the right things and wait for the time when you are shown a way to climb past the plateau. All you can do is keep yourself motivated, be consistent and hope for the best. If you give up you will never know what was on the other side of the wall and all your life you will keep wondering.
We have all had our shares of plateaus. Some of us might right now be up against a wall. And it may all seem so hopeless and pointless and we may feel we will forever be up against this wall and things will never change. But we all know they do. At least I know they do. And once we are able to climb over the wall, we get things which were beyond our expectations.
So the moral of the story, success doesn't come easy and goals are not easily achieved. And a few those who got things easily are mere flukes or myths. A way for the universe to tease and test the majority of us who have to work our butts off to get anywhere in life. Not giving up and working hard. That's the key.
Soooo what do I do? I apologize to Nick, study my actions closely and honestly to identify the loose bricks and replace them, log my days accurately and stay as far away from the chocolates as I possibly can. Negative energy not allowed :)
This morning I stowed the weight machine in the storage room.

Women

What I don't like about socializing is the gossip, drama and politics that usually comes with it. That is the prime reason why I almost decided to give up on humanity and become a recluse.
Historically women and I have not gotten along. For a dramatic emotional woman I could never deal with the drama and emotional complexities of other women. Either I gave them too much or too little. Either they made fun of me or became overly attached (or both). Either they were too needy or too manipulative (or both). Either they made me feel inferior or just wanted to prove their superiority. All in all they wanted me to pull my hair out and run for the hills (or the ocean, whichever was closer). Of course I am generalizing because then there were a few of those who were cool (might I add, like me) and I felt so at ease with them that they made the torture of finding them almost worthwhile. But I still am of the opinion that guys make so much better friends than girls (if only the hormones wouldn't come into play!!). Not because they are not humans but because they are emotionally lazy(to manipulate), non-possessive and extremely logical and practical. They basically think and want to prove that they are super cool and that makes them fun to be with.
I recently joined a group of girls to hang out with. And soon after one of the girls (girlA) started bitching about some other girl (girl B, who I have never met), saying that the girl B bitches about her all the time. Hellooo???? You are doing the same thing!!! Another girl (girl C) told me its because of her that the two girls started arguing because girl A wanted to prove to girl B that girl C was her better friend because girl B had a party and invited girl A only if girl C wouldn't come, but girl A said she wouldn't come if girl C wasn't invited which forced girl B to invite girl C but resented her for not not sending her RSVP till the day before the party. Meantime girl B (who I still haven't met) send me msg on facebook about how much she wants to meet me which girl A read and started warning me about what a bitch girl B is while girl C is like I am partial and have told girl A not to fight with girl B over me but then girl C said I don't like girl B only because she bitched about her MIL and called her a bitch. Also girl A started texting me love u miss and you awesome after meeting me twice. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa??????????????????
Also, girl C who likes me as well wants to hang out with me only if I keep it a secret from Girl A and B because they are so jealous and possessive. Furthermore girl D (hehehe) who desperately wants to be part of our group (apparently I'm in a group) and whom I really liked, is snubbed by girls A, B and C because she is not, hear this, "cool enough".
ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS??????????????????????????????
And the scariest part is that these women are in their 30s, married with kids. Like, seriously??
Although this is a bit annoying, I no longer want to run for the hills or pull my hair and even though this is very high school, I am all grown up and can deal with the whole lot very diplomatically. Besides you cant really put a price on good entertainment and of course I really get along with their husbands :)