I often mention Guruji on my blog but have never ventured into talking too much about him. For someone who has really influenced me in so many aspects of my life, I have never dared write a post about him. Why? Well because Guruji doesn't like to be talked about. He is very private and likes to keep his life, his work and anything to do with him, under the wraps. He has so much to offer other than just the minute details of his life, that he manages to keep your focus away from him. He is smart, perceptive, funny, caring and just so easy to be with. He has single-handedly made my life (and even M's) so much simpler (if we have a problem, we just go to him and he has a ready-made solution :)). He is like no one I have met or know. he is simply amazing and somewhat annoying at times, with his almost perfect approach to anything and everything.
Today I decided to write about him because I wanted to do something or say something without being in his way. I know when he feels better he will read this and so I want him to know how proud I am of him, for everything he does, for all that he has done, for being who he is. I have seen him always be there for people he loves, he cares about, with a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on, his calm sage advice and his perceptive outlook on life. I have also seen him be honest and open about his opinions and his beliefs and I have also seen him put them into practice and stand by them, which to me is truly inspirational. I know we have had our differences - I have been unreasonable and trying and he has been harsh and annoying, and I know I don't agree with anything he says from the get go - I am defensive and he in my opinion can be opinionated :), but I have always considered myself extremely lucky to have him on my side, because there is no one else I would rather have, since he not only helps me in trying situations but also keep me in the light of reality at all times (I so hate that Guruji, but I need it).
I know he hurts today, more than he has ever hurt before, and it is really hard for me to be so far away and just watch helplessly as he goes through this pain, all closed up, never reaching out, because that's how he likes to deal with things.
Guruji, I have no idea what you actually feel, but I have some inkling because this after all is the manifestation of my own worst nightmare, something the inevitability of which haunts me all the time. Also, knowing you, knowing your hopes and desires, I know how harsh this must be for you. I know we all at some point or the other go through this pain and perhaps there is no avoiding it and so I am sorry, for you pain and for your loss. I pray that God gives you the courage to walk past this with as much dignity and strength as you can. I have seen you overcome all other adversities that you face in your life, but I am pretty sure that this is the mightiest of them all, so please know that you are not alone in this. All the people that have become a part of your life, those who love you and those who you have always stood by are there with you, with there support and prayers, least of all me :).
I know Guruji that his was a simple, sweet and gentle soul and I pray that it always rests in peace. Take care
