So, currently I am in an odd living situation. I mean I like the place but then I don't really like the place. Its cheap and its convenient (a 5 mins commute in Los Angeles, literally...what more can one ask for), fairly centrally located, almost next door to the LAX and we all know that a Southwest 737 is my second home, but its messy, really messy and it stinks (It literally stinks), and it has spiders who make me all itchy, and my face was eaten by some crazy ass American mosquitoes last night who apparently don't know that u don't bite a human face...I look like a person with chicken pox), AND it comes with the Pitt bull. The house is old from the fifties and so of course it has plumbing issues. Things are falling apart in there, including...my roommate.
I know I know anyone reading this would ask then why the hell are you still living there, and it is a fair question, but finding housing in LA, not as easy as you would think. Unless off course you are willing to spend half your income. And btw craigslist, please do something about the shitload of scams on your site, I am SICK of it. Oh well, back to the apartment hunting..this was supposed to be temporary anyway....Sighhh
I just realised I sigh an awful lot on this blog...I even have post with a sigh in a title
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
A New Chapter
I have a problem, a huge one at that. I can only write when I am sad, depressed or bored, in other words when I am at work. So although this blog is not dead, the general lack of activity in the recent months might give that impression, which is owed to my generally volatile work situation. I seriously have missed blogging, coming up with some tongue in the cheek funny and smart post (like this blog is full of them heheh), always looking for something blog-worthy, thinking about issues and finding out how you truly feel about them, the flowing of the creative juices, which makes you feel that your dream of becoming a writer might actually come true one day. Sighhh!! I just might have to hold down a job for a significant period of time just so I can breathe in some new life into this blog, which is now almost near its extinction.
So what have I been up to and what changes have transpired in my life? Well on the surface not a whole lot has changed but then some. After a not so pleasant San Diegan expedition I made the seven hour trip back North, my virtual walk of shame :). Even though it sucked, deep down I was so relieved to be out of that shithole. But as I drove I was feeling the usual anxiety that I feel when I am headed to serve the unemployment sentence of indefinite time on bench and I geared up to bear my certain dive into depression. But upon my arrival in the Bay Area, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that I had overnight turned into my old 20 something carefree self again and have acquired the same old devil may care, I-might-die-tomorrow-so-let’s- party-today attitude. And I had the best time ever. Now I didn’t exactly go bar hopping every night or starred in the Girls gone wild video and such, but I did enjoy my time off, waking up late with my three cute boyfriends around me, hanging out with my favorite girls, working out, watching movies, going through the 6 seasons of ‘How I met your mother’ and just good old chilling. With the stress free environment that I created for myself (by not stressing outJ) things worked out better than ever and I got back on project in the good old City of Angels in a matter of a month. That in my wonderful world of contracting is a perfect strike. No amount of crying, whining and stressing had accomplished this in my last three visits to the dreaded bench. Took me forever and made me unbearable for the people around me (or should I say person…you know who you are: P).
So as I drove back down south on the droning I-5, I pondered over what had transpired within the sub-conscious realms of my brain that had resulted in this revived optimistic outlook on life. And the answer is…I am not sure. It may have been just that I had reached the lowest point I can allow my spirits to reach or perhaps I was acting against my nature these past 3 and a half years and my mind just had had about enough. Or maybe I had finally figured out that the negativity that I create around myself only attracts negative energy. Or possibly I decided to finally just let it go and recognize this whole process for what it really is…a means to earn a living, and not allow it to define every other aspect of my life; like all other phases of life this too shall cease to exist.
We all have our fears, the more we fight them, the bigger they get and the more we obsess over them the larger a part of reality they become. We can never be in total control and charge of our lives, but we can control our minds, in fact that is the only thing we can ever fully conquer. Happiness, contentment and peace all come from within and can be attained if we can take control of our minds. Only then we can rationalize our ever looming demons and fears, let go of our past negatives and fill ourselves with the positivity that will built the faith that the forces of nature, the universe or God whichever we believe in will take care of our tomorrows and that will allow us to fully appreciate and live out our todays. It’s a theory, but it’s a one that can truly change our lives. I have already started the implementation :)
So what have I been up to and what changes have transpired in my life? Well on the surface not a whole lot has changed but then some. After a not so pleasant San Diegan expedition I made the seven hour trip back North, my virtual walk of shame :). Even though it sucked, deep down I was so relieved to be out of that shithole. But as I drove I was feeling the usual anxiety that I feel when I am headed to serve the unemployment sentence of indefinite time on bench and I geared up to bear my certain dive into depression. But upon my arrival in the Bay Area, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that I had overnight turned into my old 20 something carefree self again and have acquired the same old devil may care, I-might-die-tomorrow-so-let’s- party-today attitude. And I had the best time ever. Now I didn’t exactly go bar hopping every night or starred in the Girls gone wild video and such, but I did enjoy my time off, waking up late with my three cute boyfriends around me, hanging out with my favorite girls, working out, watching movies, going through the 6 seasons of ‘How I met your mother’ and just good old chilling. With the stress free environment that I created for myself (by not stressing outJ) things worked out better than ever and I got back on project in the good old City of Angels in a matter of a month. That in my wonderful world of contracting is a perfect strike. No amount of crying, whining and stressing had accomplished this in my last three visits to the dreaded bench. Took me forever and made me unbearable for the people around me (or should I say person…you know who you are: P).
So as I drove back down south on the droning I-5, I pondered over what had transpired within the sub-conscious realms of my brain that had resulted in this revived optimistic outlook on life. And the answer is…I am not sure. It may have been just that I had reached the lowest point I can allow my spirits to reach or perhaps I was acting against my nature these past 3 and a half years and my mind just had had about enough. Or maybe I had finally figured out that the negativity that I create around myself only attracts negative energy. Or possibly I decided to finally just let it go and recognize this whole process for what it really is…a means to earn a living, and not allow it to define every other aspect of my life; like all other phases of life this too shall cease to exist.
We all have our fears, the more we fight them, the bigger they get and the more we obsess over them the larger a part of reality they become. We can never be in total control and charge of our lives, but we can control our minds, in fact that is the only thing we can ever fully conquer. Happiness, contentment and peace all come from within and can be attained if we can take control of our minds. Only then we can rationalize our ever looming demons and fears, let go of our past negatives and fill ourselves with the positivity that will built the faith that the forces of nature, the universe or God whichever we believe in will take care of our tomorrows and that will allow us to fully appreciate and live out our todays. It’s a theory, but it’s a one that can truly change our lives. I have already started the implementation :)
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