The free Spirit

What is with my need to be understood and accepted by my near and dear ones. I seek their understanding and their acceptance and approval for every aspect of my life. I have always wanted this and I still do. I want them to understand my point of view, I want them to approve of my choices and most of all I want them to believe in my dreams and ambitions and be OK with them and give me the support to fulfill them. I want them to accept my shortcomings, focus on my strengths and not ridicule and logicalize my fears, dismissing them as pure rubbish. I want them to understand me as a person and not look down at me because I fail to live up to their expectations. And most of all I want them to know I am not them and I may not be able to do the things they can do very easily. Understand me, understand my choices, understand my life, understand my fears, understand my shortcomings, understand me because I understand you.

We are all different, have our own experiences and our own stories. Our past shapes us into who we are and naturally we have different levels of comprehension and have our own limitations. We all have our own vices, strengths, fears and our own way of dealing with things. But then why do we want the people around us to behave the same as we do. We expect them to be an extension of us, just because we are connected to them, either through blood or through emotions.

Most of our lives' frustrations and disappointments are caused by our failed expectations. Expectations that we have from life, from those around us and from our own selves. So to say I have been disappointed because of my need to be understood will be the understatement of the century. It has not just disappointed me it has also never let me be free of their and my own expectations. I let it consume me. This in turn made me behave unfairly towards those I love, my family and my friends. My frustration caused by their lack of understanding combined with their expectations from me made be irritated and annoyed.

I get it now and so I accept it. I accept it all. Their limitations, their point of view and their lack of understanding. And if I think I do a better job of understanding and accepting them, then I also must remember those few in my life who have and still are doing an awesome job of understanding me . Why should we get everything that we want from each person we meet? After all everyone has a unique way of giving and it may not be what we want but it just might be something just as special. The wisdom is to accept what comes your way and give all you can without expecting anything in return.

All I want is to be free, in every sense of the word, whether its from my own expectations of others or theirs of me.