I am sorry aunties

I am over the hill (by Desi standards 28 is the hill) and I should be desperate to tie the knot. What is wrong with me? I always disappoint the aunties in my family. (they are just not cool like my mom)

They wanted the girl to be good and respectful who doesn't laugh loudly; most days Eskimos could hear me laugh all the way from the land of the pure. They wanted girls not to hang out with guys and play cricket on the road; I would bully the kids into letting me play even at the age of 21. They wanted the girls to learn how to cook; I am still living off of Maggie noodles. They thought it was not right for girls to play tennis um ever; I lived to be on the court every single day, rain or shine (even though I was just average). The aunties thought it wrong to marry out of choice; I was in love two months after I joined my university. They looked down at a girl and a guy being best friends; my best friend was a guy and his sister and his brother and his mom (they still are, him I don't know). They didn't think it was possible for girls to go out alone after dark; I was rampaging around the city of lights in a rickshaw (with my father's permission of course, i am not completely insolent). They believed marriage is the ultimate destination in a girl's life; Bull shit!!! They felt it was awful that I was abandoning my parents and being so selfish to go to US for further studies; I did not want to wait for a husband anymore (yes the love did not last, please don't pick at my wounds). They are too shocked to say, think or believe anything anymore; I live in the US and there are no aunties here. But secretly, they think I am over the hill and should be desperate enough to marry any Tom, Dick or Harry, or in this case any Imran, Farhan or Kamran; I am not.

I am sorry aunties, I disappoint you yet another time. I don't mean to. Trust me its not my sole aim in life to piss you all off, it is just an added advantage. I love you all so much, but your "haey beechaari" has taken its toll on me and I am avoiding you all like the plague. Oh you didn't think it was on purpose? I am also avoiding all those daughters of yours who have turned into an extension of you and want to preach me on how it is my duty to be a mom, as a true Muslim woman (huh??).

Admit it!! Married people cannot stand free, single people. You are a little envious aren't you? Surely at least a tad ? A free spirit that I am, aren't you dying to tie me up. You settled, you want me to compromise as well. No thanks.

I never had the same goals as you or your daughters for that matter. You never let them grow to their full potential but my parents did. And even though I truly appreciate your worries and concerns over my spiritual and mental well-being, I resist your attempts to tame me and black mail me; inducing feelings of guilt and shame by citing my parents' grief over my impending spinsterhood. For God sake. I am single, not morally corrupt. There is a difference.

I am sure I will repeatedly defy your expectations in the years to come because I live by own expectations. My expectations, my identity - not my husband's, my own. Thanks, but no thanks.